I’m not sure how to begin my response or why I’m writing one, but I believe we must reach some degree of closure. I suppose a part of me wants you to acknowledge I didn’t deserve to be bullied. No one does.
An apology, a sincere one, is all I need. Instead, you continue to blame others and, well, there’s no other way to say this; you lied.
You aren’t on the planning committee. I’m friends with all the ladies involved, and they’re aware I’m not attending. I told them the day you waltzed into the gym and demanded access to the guest list like you were royalty or something. I was present, and you didn’t notice.
Human connection? What are you talking about? You haven’t seen me around town, not for a long time. I’m not that chubby, pimple-faced boy you taunted, and I’ve reached the conclusion my words are being lost on you.
The comment I made about you being single was because you always said how much you despise Grand Station and swore you’d leave one way or another. Sometimes life doesn’t go how we think. I understand that, but I also learned, we must walk on the right path from the start.
I know you weren’t the only one who pranked me. Believe me, I lived it. I may never forget my high school experience, but going along with others doesn’t exempt you from fault or justify what happened. You tormented me, and you still don’t get it. Your actions don’t define me anymore. They strengthened me and gave me the courage to become who I am.
Maybe your stepbrother did come up with the Valentine’s Day joke, but why would you help him, and why would you pick me? It doesn’t matter whose idea any of this was; you played along. You carried out the cruel deeds.
You said you were sorry I felt downcast and humiliated. Yet, you’re not sorry for having done it. I guess you figure you did me a favor by teaching me how to deal with humiliation? A “fun way to ease the stress of puberty?” Are you kidding me?
If you had a situation in your home which caused you to act out— please, share so I can understand your pain. This way, we can both move on from the “silliness of it.” From where I stood, your life looked pretty good. Most kids knew of their classmates’ struggles, especially when the conflicts existed in their home. Some of us battled within ourselves. I did, but I never acted out, and I never made another person question their worth.
That’s where you and I remain different. You can profess all the spirituality you want. If this was real, you would own up to your actions— the ones back then, and the ones you are committing now.
I feel sorry for you, Jolyne. I really do.
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